school ends in a week. i wish i could say i had the motivation to finish strong, but I don’t really care. i’m exhausted from the amount of time i’ve spent cramming each system in my head in a matter of a month. the human body is amazing and so complex that there’s no doubt in my head there’s a higher power out there. I just wish i wasn’t so exhausted to learn about it. my lab partner wants to get together today to study. he’s a huge weirdo and for some reason gets some sick pleasure in trying to do better than me and I mean, he’ll do anything to do better than me. lol so after screwing me over last test, I realized he’s short for a reason.

quitting jcp is still the best thing that ever happened to me. i’ve had alot of time for self discovery and I really think I could use a few chill pills.

i think it’s going to be a long time before i even decide to date again. i think I should get ME together before I decide I’m able to be desireable for someone else. So day 4: single…i think i’ve had enough heart break for now. i’m ready to start my life. i’m taking a semester off school so I can save up to move out and pay off debt. now seems like a good time to finally grow up :)

last night I went out for Megan’s go away party. i didn’t really want to go just because I wasn’t ready for that type of scene yet, but it was probably the last time i’d see megan. On mill, i got hit on alot by either creepy guys or guys with no respect. It wasn’t until i was leaving that some tall, dark, handsome guy walked up to me, and was the complete opposite of what I had seen all night. my heart sunk though because it wasn’t him. so i told this stranger, “i just got out of a relationship…” aka i have baggage and i’m still bleeding! i don’t even remember his name haha so yea day 4 is going to have to be day 600 for me to invest time into someone right now. i really hate when guys say, “you’re so pretty so then why are you single?” well excuse me for wanting to wait for someone i actually LIKE. He also said that Taurus have trust issues and are overly sensitive…which i think is true, but i hate being analyzed by an astrological sign. when I decide to give my heart away, then the trust is there. You can’t just trust anybody. I told him “I am more strong than sensitive.” Which is true, I have been through so much shit- I’m even amazed that I can still laugh until my stomach hurts and find a way to still love life.