so week one was dealing with rejection. And accepting that what once was, wasn’t anymore. everyone is entitled to find happiness. i know he’s not coming back, and i’m not in denial as I first had started the week off. the hardest part i think is the lifestyle change. pretty much losing my best friend, and adjusting to the fact that they will never be apart of your life again. it’s the heartbreak that is going to take awhile, even though I believe that I’m over all the issues at hand. I think because they were lessons I had already learned in past relationships, but I trusted him with my heart and stuck by his side through thick n thin. I don’t regret it though. the lesson now, is trusting my own heart. in past relationships, i always considered myself lucky to be able to get over someone so quick. i’ve really put alot of thought into this break up though. i want to make sure that when i’m able to love again, that I’m completely healed. i also have never been so attached to someone. :/ ( always a bad idea btw) when i thought that we were both on the same page, i believed it would be okay to let go. I still think love is worth fighting for, but in this case, I was in love with someone who didn’t love me back. Sometimes you have to love from afar. The anger i felt before towards him is gone as well. I didn’t think it would go away, but it was part of accepting the break up. everyone keeps asking me if I’m okay, but seriously I’m OK. I’m 100% going to be a better person than i ever was before. #oil & water #toxic

I’ve been converting my hair for the last 2 months to natural. I have my heart set on a cute lil fro. I can’t wait! As for now, it’s been hard to even comb my hair and come up with a style while the kinks break through.

my mom decided to have a “family meeting” today…it lasted approx 2 mins before everyone was kicked out of the house. uuuggghhh! i guess when it rains it pours. I can’t move out fast enough! I haven’t ate in an entire week, yet my mom is complaining that no one does the dishes. the pipes are broken so I didn’t even think there were dishes to be done. i apologized to my mom for walking away from her tantrum, but seriously i was not in the mood for some bullshit today.

today I’m going to go watch flip play baseball. we had a deep, deep conversation last night…it feels good to connect with someone who undoubtely understands my heart and i understand his. i have this feeling like… we’ll always be friends :)

I can’t wait to start school. I’m looking forward to getting involved more. Also this new job thing, is something I’ve always wanted to do. I’m more excited to meet new people. I need more girlfriends! Boys are cool, but girls are better.

i think exercising everyday is the healthiest thing i can do for myself right now.
i also think it’s weird that i’m alot more confident about my body now that i have a belly piercing haha idk what it is.

it feels good to write again…and to be in control of something for once.
let the fun begin :D

to live is to fight.